STOKE. My memories. An Epic Tale.

[pastieman]

Hmmm. I know I left Swansea at about 9.30am, put the Sat Nav and cruise control on and ended up at the Gits place in Cardiff an hour later. reset Nav for Stoke, cruise control on. Short conversation with the Gits b4 they fell asleep (they were in Cardiff Airport picking up illegal’s 3am) Stopped once for a break and arrived at Quality Hotel about 3pm, I think.

Met a gang of foreigners and drunks outside in the wind tunnel. Said hello and checked in. Had a huge room to myself right opposite the water park. Yuck... the smell of chlorine. Don’t know what I done next but ended up in pool/steam room/sauna with a bunch of Wass idiots in their swim ware, not a pretty sight.

Next thing I'm drinking alcohol, a couple of double Vodka's just to be friendly and we're all off walking down to the Casino, drove there earlier and it didn’t seem that far, eek, what a long hike but all down hill. I go OK downhill but don’t do the walking thing much. Then after a visit to Sainsbury ( socks for Totty's cold feet) poor love she even dressed up as a Yeti to keep warm, we arrived at the Casino.

Not eaten all day so ordered a meal of STEAK, if I'd grilled my flip flop it would have tasted better, forget the meal, left it on the plate. Met a load of other Wassers, why do I only remember so many lovely women. Played some cards, got 2 bounties and came 9th, cant remember any outstanding hands as the sound from the Stage had done my head, brain was buzzing, tablets.. alcohol ..and POKER do mix. Oh nearly forgot, missed the buffet, me and Gungod last to the feast and guess what, foul tasting garlic chicken legs left, go hungry pastie survive off your own fat.
Then there was the theft of Tina's purse contents. What a bummer, it upset me greatly but she carried on regardless and had fun with us all.
And the Bulls dragged me into their team Photo, they were desperate to get the Bull Slayer (YUM YUM) on board. Great bunch of folks and a laugh a minute.
Cant remember much more of Fri night, I must have got back up the hill to the hotel somehow cus I ended up in my bed, daylight was the last thing I saw before more tablets sent me off to cloud 9 and sleep.
I don’t do the morning thing so got up at usual time of day, about 1pm took medication and off to the bar only to find Cille walking about the hotel in her night clothes. Played a little Poker with the Bosses and friends (my little lucky charm and his gang) I lost. So it was off to the pool again. Then in walks Rob, Dave and Dan, lol , all dressed in identical swim trucks, purchased by Rob in the local Oxfam Shop. Went into Steam Room with them and Git and guess what the comment was by someone ”Oh it’s hot in here” WTF it’s a steam room, but I kept my mouth shut.

Not eaten again, not good for diabetic so after thinking back I remembered seeing a burger joint by the casino and mentioned to MrMrsGit that we could have food there b4 game started. Off we go in the car, I’m no fool to walk that far again only to find that the Burger joint not open and barricaded up like Fort Knox with 1 inch thick steel shutters. Oh no Casino food, I don’t think so a second time. Went to the bar and asked for sandwiches, “nope not till 6pm,” “our game starts at 6pm what crisps have you got please” “only what you can see” Crisps are like 10ft behind the bar, how can I see that far, “Sorry mate I cant see that far what flavours have you got please” “PARSNIP” was his reply. That was the end of that then. What happened to plain salted, salt n vinegar or even cheese and onion.

So lets play poker, sat at my allotted table only to find it full of lovely Wass ladies, and some odd males, they didn’t have a chance, I was on fire.

Totty came over to me a said that she was going to be 1^st in line to ensure that I had a plate of food from the Buffet, love her. But our table was the 1^st to break and I was at the front of the queue and very nice the was. I was famished. So with my belly as full as an egg it was back to the poker. Only one hand worthy of mention, I’m dealt KK, someone raises, I forced them all-in as I was well ahead in chips and they turn over AQ. Flop KxK, the room erupts with cheers. VN ty.
Onto final table with my nemesis CHUMLEY. Well it’s history now, he put me out 4^th = £100. Well played all especially my Welsh teamie, the bubble boy GIT. Oh and of course Chumley (tongue in cheek) for the Event championship, you know I loves you mate.

All through the final table Trish was there for me again, standing in the back ground telling me calm down, did my stress show? Thanks.

Sorry Novi for upsetting your night, it was not intentional and I openly apologise.

So that was the poker over for me. Had a chat with a few folks and the next thing Dave (DocSharpe) says “don’t go anywhere we got something for you” and then himself and Rob (MrWass) presented ME with the Player of the Weekend trophy. OMG what an honour and ANOTHER WASS TROPHY to display.

So sometime later I give Trish, Fudgie and his wife a lift back to their B&B, no problem till I make the return journey. Set Sat Nav to casino, OMG Stoke is a one-way system but my NAV don’t know that, round and round and round, past all the night clubs that were throwing and their patrons throwing up. I past the same bunch of Policemen at least 6 times and was waiting to pulled for Kerb crawling (or in my car) being a Pimp. My Nav was going berserk trying to send me down roads that had been blocked off. So 30mins later on a 4min journey I made it back to the Casino. I know not to volunteer next time, I was steaming.
So it’s back to Hotel for a nightcap and laughter, so funny to see the Manageress and Leafy’s faces when our Gaz showed them his Heavy Metal Head. I was sat in a chair and I nearly pissed myself.
So off to bed only to be woken at 10.30am by a banging on my door “Derek, Derek you have to be out by 11” WHATTTTTTTTTT. I open the door and see Tina there, I invited in or she just pushed me out the way, asked if she could make me coffee, I dashed into the bathroom, to relieve myself of excess fluid, quick wash and clean my teeth, 4 mins max went into my room and found my suite case was all packed, had to take medications and a Peach then it was off, check out goodbyes and we were on the road with Tina behind till me cleared Stoke and then she being a Bus driver drove off like a bat out of hell cus I drive at 75 and they drive their buses at 90.Our journey home to Wales was uneventful.

What a weekend I had. Fantastic. I’d like to thank Cille, Anne Lise, TableLosser(who the Fek are you) Leafy, Madman and his lovely and finally the WASS pin up, our very own lady in RED. Evil, for making their long journeys to attend this event. Thanks to all the UK Wassers who looked after them all whilst they’ve been here.
Block and Sal thanks for the great work in making this such a success.
Thanks for all the Trophy’s MrWASS/Doc Sharpe
Thank you all for being there and such good fun to be with. Next time all.

And a special Thank you to Mr&Mrs Git for keeping an eye on me ( 1^st time I been without my wife overnight, away from home for many many years.

Hope I made you laugh a little.

Derek

PS as the song goes “we’ll meet again don’t know where don’t know but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”

[tricks27]

what a wonderful story derek

yes your stress levels were showing again hun and i knew a smile from me would calm you down not send your blood pressure sky high lol

sorry about your trip back to the quality after dropping us off that is terrible, you should have asked the coppers to go with you to direct you lol

hopefully will see you at the next one

trish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[tablelooser]

lmao u fecker u just cant stop it can u lol great story m8

[fudgie66]

Parsnip crisps mate, rolmfao

Thanks for the lift back mate and no wonder you thought about the kerb crawling thing in that massive Merc of yours!!!
PIMP MY RIDE,

Fudgie

[pastieman]

I am wondering to myself is it worth spending 3 hours on a post to get 3 replies, WHATS HAPPENED TO WASS when a happy birhtday to people who are not active on the forum get more replies from the members here. So disappointed Pastie.

[stepgen]

Great psot pastie. Stoke sounded even more fun and "interesting" than even the live game in Liverpool earlier in the year. And well done on the player of the weekend trophy.

[block]

Great post Derek. Really glad you enjoyed your weekend. Its good that all the good times we have outnumber the little bad points. And by the way:

PS as the song goes “we’ll meet again don’t know where don’t know but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”

Newcastle sound good to you mate. Be fecking surprised if its sunny though.

[welshy77]

Sorry derek mate.... i read this last night... but i was also playing the freeroll at same time but by the time that i had finished reading it as i was still in freeroll i thought that i would post after the game had finished... but feck me you can guess what happened after that... yes i fell asleep... so thats my excuse and im sticking to it

Anyways it was a great read even if it did take me 1hr to read it in between hands, im soooo glad that you enjoyed yr weekend away and i look forward to seeing you again soon i hope and maybe joining ya on that FT too

[novi]

Great Post Pastie. It was a great weekend and reading all the different posts about it is so funny. BTW no need to apologise I over reacted to a situation so its me who should be saying sorry to you. XXXXXXXXX

[andy1964]

nice post m8,but you were not funny in any way.
And you stole my trophy for player of the weekend.
Trish ,mrgit,mrsgit,evil,cill. told me when we got to FT that if i did not
go out before you they wood beat me upand get me banned from the
forum..
P.S. very nice m8 and and very well played. hope to see you in newcastle