About a year old, but still hilarious
The Drunk, Only in Australia: This is based on a story from a local paper.
Recently a routine police traffic patrol car parked outside a local pub.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated
that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few
minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man
managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes
as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine
dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then
switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed
a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes while some more
vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive
slowly down the road.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up
the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and
carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated
no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
police station, this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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