3 Poker Dont's
Don't ask the dealer about the odds on strip poker.
Don't use a Jamaican accent while playing Caribbean poker.
Don't butt into a private multiplayer poker tournament game saying "mind if I join in".
Jungle Poker
Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?
Because there were too many cheetahs.
A naked surprise
A woman who plays cards once a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"
Counting
Counting Little Bobby was asked by his first grade teacher..."Bobby, do you know how
to count?".
Bobby replied "Of course I do, my dad taught me".
The teacher doubted Bobby, and decided to put him to the test. "OK,
Bobby...what comes after three?" The teacher asked
"Four!" Bobby immediately exclaimed.
"Very Good" said the teacher, "OK, what comes after six?"
"Seven!" Bobby shot back immediately
"Bobby, your father is an excellent teacher. He must be so proud of you"
"Yes, he is" Bobby replied
"OK, One last test", said the teacher "What comes after ten?"
Without missing a beat, Bobby replied "Jack"
Royal Flush
A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin.
"Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game."
"How did you manage to do that?"
"It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."
Naked
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, ''I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked.'' With that, she stripped off all her clothes and then rolled the dice while yelling ''Come on baby, momma needs new clothes!'' She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling ''YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!'' With that, she picked up her winnings and clothes and quickly left. The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, ''What the hell did she roll anyway?'' The second dealer answered, ''I thought you were paying attention!''
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