a few more blond jokes

[gungod]

A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens.


She hears: “Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."





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What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?


"Would you like fries with that?"





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[align=center]One day a blonde went up to a soda machine and put in her money, pushed a button and a soda came out. She put in more money and got another soda. Then a guy came up behind her and was wating for his turn to get a soda.The blonde was still putting in change and getting sodas. ''Are you done yet,'' the guy finally asked.Then the blonde replied, ''No, I'm winning.''[/align]
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A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.

"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."

"What about the other one?"


"They called back."





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A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!

"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.

"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."

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Top 10 Things Only Women Understand[/b]

10) Cats' facial expressions.

9) The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8) Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7) “Fat� clothes.

6) Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5) The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell.

4) Cutting your bangs to make them grow.

3) Eyelash curlers.

2) The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale evermade.


1) Other women.





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Dragging Their Feet[/b]


Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, ''Vietnam, 1969.'' The other points his thumb behind him and says, ''Dog crap, 20 feet back.''

few good blonde jokes to start with but you sort of forgot your own topic towards the end lol

ilike the last one 'dog shit' think i've heard it before but that just goes to show its a good joke, the more times you can laugh at it the better it is

keep up the good work there hasn't been one joke you've posted that hasn't been funny

Blonde Pooltable

A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls.





Blonde - Elmo Factory

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''

[chickster888]

that dog shit one was class! please keep them coming lol lol

[jayc1985]

the funny part.. its all true

[msma]

Cute.

Jay one day you will be beaten by a bunch of blonde girls lol

Three blondes are walking through the woods and come across a set of tracks.

The 1st blonde says, "Those are deer tracks."

The 2nd blonde says, " No they aren't dummy, those are bear tracks."

The 3rd blonde was about to respond when the train hit them.





How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?

She can't find her pencil and has a tampon tucked behind her ear.



A blondes favorite nursery rhyme: Humpme Dumpme



Just a samll contribution to the topic.



Randy

[moroccan]

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars. So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks him, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars. Then the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars.

[moroccan]

A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."

[gazthehippy]

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain
and the top is down!

:P