wass town

i`ll start this story, giving some background to characters. i expect other members to post, continuing the story and plot lines

Wass town is set in a rural area. a peaceful community, on the surface, it heaves, just below the surface, with intrigue and all sorts of exciting goings on. its leading lights sit on the town council. mayor dave higginbottom, jay.c. mctavish, engelbert flibbles, wendy houseman, cille hobbit, decide the fate of all those in the community, but out in the countryside there sits a group of people who fight against proposed town council agenda`s. their leader, a charismatic figure called welshgit mcbahbah and his supporters, known as the welshys, hold regular sheep rodeos and spread the word of discontent. within town Evil Pussycat, heads up an action group of left wing hippies. their plans to stop animal testing and support of anti global warming issues are in direct conflict with the town council

[tinalou]

in this peacefull ish town lived a happily married couple (or so mr spytty dosdbody thought)

spytty is the towns tax collector and his wfe tinalou is just a women that lives of her husbands wages.

every day the postman hammie comes to deleiver the mail and every morning tinalou seduces him they r so happy together and hammie keeps wanting to know when she is going to leave spytty but she is so not ready for that just yet

one day tinalou asks hammie if he wants to take part in a movie her best friend hotlips michelle is producing, " i wil have to think about it " says hammie thinking to himself that it sounds a very dodgey movie.

other characters you can use

hamish mcdiddley- the postman

gaz skunk- the local drug dealer

max power- the butcher

bubbs madame- runs the local knocking shop

biz hustler- runs the dirty mag store

kenny `gun`tank- ex sas soldier

jill pysa- lapdancer

michelle `hotlips` pix- blackmailer

chief inspector serpico block

p.c baldy harley-davison

[bubblesx2]

tinalou approached bubbs madame for some extra's for her movie but being camera shy bubbs madame offered a few of her best stars - namely - stinkee ho , Chickster ' the mouth organ' anderson, stig da stud & a regular visitor - the gender confused welshy 'imalaydee'77.

Word soon spreads about the upcoming production and there are auditions held at the local hotspot ' screwmeontheriver.com with the 3 judges being pete da pisshead power, Trish ' the demolisher' and gaz skunk .........................

[bubblesx2]

First day of auditions: after many ridiculous performances by many pink fluffy bunny chasers and IM A NOOB lookalikies the judges decide to take a break and retire to their dressing rooms - only to be approached by a masked ramboesque type fella with a grenade in his hand threatening to blow up screwmeontheriver.com unless he gets the leading role - The judges decide it will be easier to let him have the leading part as they can't be arsed to sit through any more auditions but plead with the masked intruder to blow up screwmeontheriver.com anyway.

He removes his mask so he can be all manly to pull the grenade pin out with his teeth revealing himself as Kenny 'gun' tank AKA 'hung like a donkey' and proceeds to blow up screwmeontheriver.com

to be continued :P

[smjkrj]

whilst blowin up screwmeonthe river.com

kenny kenny `gun`tank realise that his favorite store owner biz hustler- runs the dirty mag store was in a tourny there and kenny was about to lose his favorite past time lol

but then he thought about the fun he could have at bubbs madame knocking shop

with the sexy k4tr1na rip your kit off

and said oh fek it thats better than a mag anyday

[welshgit]

wass town evening post

local riots predicted in sleepy community

just in from the FBI ( thats a fucking big idiot )

beware wass town the welshys are revolting , also disgusting ,

but forget that , the main point is the town is gona be taken over by the welshy clan from the outskirts of the village .

we know they are working in conjunction with gaz skunk , gaz is getting every1 in the village stoned slowly so that the welsh takeover will be easier ( the welsh can and have taken over wass anyway )

welshgit mcbahbah was asked by our local reporter what he thought about these alegations ,

his reply was , " ang on let me finnish with me sheep " then he is quoted as saying " its all the aliens fault - we are a peaceful community out here leave us alone "

and he denied any takeover plan was in progress

but further undercover work revealed that bubbs madame was actualy welsh and was working in the town getting the welshys every little bit of information they need ( in her house every1 talks - ive seen the equipment ).

it is also believed that kenny " gun " the tank man is also a secret welsh agent , he goes to wales every couple of weeks for briefings .

mr wass was asked if he thought a welsh takeover was imminent he completly denied this - his actual words were -

" look here now boyo innit like the welsh will never take us over boyo "

there are some people who are a bit worried that the wassia are turning welsh ..

latest news just in --------------------------------------------------------

it has come to the attention of this newspaper that biz ( who runs the local porno shop ) is also a welshy and we are now keeping him under survelance .

its also know that the welsh have infiltrated the americans as well - we know that msmaxim is actualy parading around as an honary welshy ,

and finaly - early reports on the local fun day are - wassy and doc have killed jayc at the local paintballing event - they let kenny the tank load the weapons and somehow he put real bullets into wassy and docs gun .

also we have recieved reports that there is a pervert on the loose somewhere in the town ( we think he lives near the womens public toilets and has set up cameras in them ) he is known localy as " THAT FUKIN DIRTY PERVERTED BASTARD SAL THE SLIMY " .

further reports will follow as soon as i can be bothered doing them ..

unbeknown to all concerned p.c. baldy harly davison was on the case. undercover, dressed as a biker, he was noting down names of all those involved and would report back to chief inspector serpico block

down at the town hall all members of the council, were about to receive a brown envelope with incriminating pictures in them and a demand for 10,000 pounds. michelle` hotlips` pix had been busy

[Hami]

with rumours running rampant about the murder of jay c the town is in shock...... there are rumours that this was a set up because jay was trying to take over the whole town on his own,,,,,,,,

suspects named are dave and wass

but other rumours going around sprawlin around wass town is that Maddman aka FREDDY could be the culprit it has the town is shock an ppl dont know who to trust



Being a postman i get to see quite alot in wass town ,,,, today on my usual run of the mill day droppin my posts off in wass town i seen the filty antics of Gun the 'tank' kenny and the sexy Krtr1na round the back of the Bizs local porno shop,,, to my shock horror i seen the Local Perv SAL with his BRAND SPANKING NEW perverts only limited addition DIGITAL CAMARA , if that wasn enough he spotted me and asked me for his local copy of HUSTLER WASS, (this months addition sees EVIL KENEVIL POSE NUDE its a must have for wassers and already a top seller) a must have for any wass perv ( i got mine) i let the perv get on with his daily routene he was as ( happy as a pig in shite)



on my way almost finished my shift i take the short cut thru wasspark i take every day but as you can see this was no normal day, the sun is shining down and the sky is blue,, wat a fantastic day i thought,,,, here i am am whistlin away FINAL Call YE HA i thought.... comin up to half way through i hear this weird noise comin from inside the bushes i thought to my self i mite as well check it out ,,, a gronin sound from the bush,, i think to myself OHHH THIS MITE BE THIS NEW PORNO movie they are all talkin about this i gota see..... BUT TO MY ASTONISMINT IT WAS NONE OTHER than our own MASCOT simon aka Super Spytty SHMATABAH... ( he give himself that own nick name he thinks he is a super hero with that dam custume he wears:P) we pity the guy..... any way there he was PANTS down to his ankles and this poor LAMB not even a sheep A LAMb ...... shagging away as if there is no tomorow the poor guy caught red handed ,,, he spots me and in a nerves wreak panic state starts to offer me WELSH money not to tell any one .( WTF can i do with welsh money) i have so much pity that i decide to leave him to his evil deeds and head on to finish my work............................................

THE HUNT IS STILL ON FOR THE WASS KILLER THE COPS HAVE REALSED STATEMENTS REGARDING WATS GOIN TO HAPPEN

TO BE CONTINUED.............

HAMI THE POSTMAN